This week's top 5 deals with my personal guilty pleasure songs. Some of these songs are by all intents and purposes, "bad" songs, while others are actually pretty good. Whichever way you slice it, I'm all sorts of embarrassed that these are in my iTunes.
Before I actually get into the songs, let me paint a picture for you. You're in your apartment enjoying a nice bowl of cereal on the couch, when you see a lot of movement in the apartment across the way. You ignore it at first, but with the window open you start to hear audible sounds coming from across the way. You get up to check out the scene and to tell them to "shut the fuck up" but are shocked and appalled to see a 5'9" man, with a beer belly and a truck stache wearing only a towel. His hair's slicked back and he's using the comb as a microphone like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. It's like a car wreck; its awful but you just can't look away. Then everything goes south when he rocks a little too hard and the towel comes off; you are scarred for life! Welcome to the life of my next door neighbor
Murder on the Dancefloor by Sophie Ellis-Bextor from the album Read My Lips
Irreplaceable by Beyonce from the album B'Day
5) Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn from the album Body Talk
This song is actually awesome and the music video is equally cool. I just get really really embarassed when I sing "Call you girlfriend, its time you had the talk. Give your reasons, say its not her fault," on the bus in my best diva voice. People look at my weird. I should probably just stop singing on the bus.
4) Faith by George Michael from the album Faith
You know that scene in "The Rules of Attraction" when Paul and Dick are in their underwear flirting and dancing on the bed while singing "Faith". I want to do that! Except with a girl...
3) We Built This City by Starship from the album Knee Deep in the Hoopla
This song is widely regarded as one of the worst songs ever made. In 5 minutes, it fully explains everything that was wrong with music in the 80s. Everything about it is just awful. And I love every second of it!
2) California Gurls Featuring Snoop Dogg by Katy Perry from the album Teenage Dream
I hate that girls is spelled that way. I hate that Snoop Dogg is on this track. I hate that the album is called Teenage Dream. I hate that she's in candyland in the video. I hate everything but the actual song; its so damn good. The "OoOoOoOo O OoOoOoO" in the chorus is pop music at its finest.
1) Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson from the album Breakaway
This is just like Katy Perry. I hate everything about this except for the song. What makes this worse is that its a female freedom song. At least "California Gurls" is about hot girls partying in bathing suits in California. This is about a girl who breaks away from a bad relationship and feel great about her new independence. Every time I belt out the chorus, I feel like my manhood should be confiscated.